5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Becoming a First-Time Mom

45 5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Becoming a First-Time Mom

I'm no stranger to children. I have a niece and three nephews, and I worked with children for years. But having children of your own is a whole different ballgame.

Honestly, I felt thrown to the wolves when I had my first child in December 2025. These are the things I wish someone would have told me beforehand. We're all friends here, right? So I'm just going to be as honest as possible.

1. The after-birth smell

Yep, I'm starting with a bang.

Why does no one talk about this? I STANK. Especially with breastfeeding. Apparently that smell is supposed to help baby find the "nip nip" better? I don't know, but I was RANK after birth, and nothing seemed to help. It was my pits and my lady bits. Whew. That lochia? It smelled like death. I asked my husband several times, "Can you smell me?" I felt like I was just a-stewing in my own juices.

Nobody warned me about that part, so I'm telling you. Odds are you're going to stank, unless you're God's favorite.

2. If you're a breastfeeding mama, saddle up because it's a full-time job

I was so excited for breastfeeding. I thought it was going to be so cutesy, baby was going to nurse for a few minutes every now and then and pop right off and I'd go on my merry way.

NOPE.

There were days when I didn't leave the bed or couch because baby was nursing all day. I couldn't get a thing done. I didn't realize how demanding and draining breastfeeding could be.

Honestly, in those first few weeks, I was frustrated. But I had to change my mindset, this was my season to be still and enjoy my tiny breastfeeding baby, chores could wait, my rapidly growing baby could not. Once I changed my mindset, I loved breastfeeding so much.

I also turned to some very knowledgeable lactation consultants. Heather assured me that baby was getting everything she needed and that cluster feeding was completely normal. Baby was establishing my milk supply, so it was necessary.

So be forewarned: while breastfeeding is beautiful and rewarding, it is also demanding.

3. The sundown scaries

Moms are freaking superheroes.

I'd never heard of The sundown scaries until I experienced it myself. I thought something was wrong with me.

All day, I would feel great. The sun would be shining, I'd be in a fantastic mood, and then suddenly, as the sun started going down, I would become riddled with anxiety.

Why don't women talk about this?

It was scary.

Thankfully, it finally subsided around month two, but it was a battle while it lasted.

4. Your marriage will look different

Having a baby is a life-changing event. There's no getting around that fact. Sometimes it brings out the best in people. Other times, not so much.,

With a baby in the mix, your dynamic with your spouse is going to change. The divorce rate following the birth of a child is higher than many people realize. During this season, open communication matters. Stealing moments of alone time when possible matters. Being there for each other matters.

It's going to take time to adjust to your new normal, but prayerfully, you'll get there.

5. You're doing better than you think

Being a mom is incredibly hard. (Say that again)

Being a mom is incredibly hard.

We wear so many hats, and sometimes we're our own worst critics. We compare ourselves to influencers with their perfect, spotless homes, their perfect spouses, and their perfect children who rarely ever cry. They seem to have it all together. But for the majority, that's just not reality.

So I implore you to give yourself grace.

You're growing, learning, and stretching and showing up for your baby. I don't know about you but I see a phenomenal woman.

What would you add to this list? Seasoned moms, help us out in the comments. What is something you wish someone had told you before your first baby?"

With Love,

-Rachel